Food Court 5000
About Us
Welcome to Mall Rats: Walk Hard, a Portland-based, retro-fitness, mall-walking movement and possibly the best reason to dust off your spandex and hit the mall. We are a community of fast-walking, snack-loving, retro-fabulous weirdos who believe that fitness should be fun, free, and just the right amount of ridiculous. Our signature event? The Food Court 5000.
Every Sunday at 11 AM, we gather at Lloyd Center Mall for an hour and a half of high-energy strutting, power-walking, and occasional jazz hands. It’s part workout, part performance art, and all-around a great excuse to take over a shopping mall in the name of nostalgia and movement.
What do we do?
- Power-walk like we're being chased by an aggressive kiosk salesperson
- Maybe break into spontaneous mall aerobics (no promises, but high probability)
- Make the Lloyd Center our own personal runway (until security side-eyes us too hard)
This isn’t your grandma’s mall-walking club (though she’s definitely invited). We encourage spandex, windbreakers, neon, and making questionable but fabulous fashion choices.
No sign-ups, no fees, no judgment! Just sweaty camaraderie and a mall takeover that might one day be outlawed.
So, lace up, show up, and walk like you just saw your ex by the food court.
Food Court 5000: A Retro-Fitness Phenomenon
Thinking about joining the Food Court 5000? Well, stop thinking and start strutting! We’ve got a community full of fun, laughter, and people who know how to turn a regular mall walk into a fitness fiesta.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a pro power-walker or just here to get some steps in. Everyone’s welcome! We've had walkers from age 8 all the way to 80+. We promise you’ll feel like part of the squad the minute you step into the Food Court.
So why not? Come walk with us, show off your best strut, and be part of Portland’s quirkiest fitness movement. We’ll be there, and so should you.
✅ Pro Tips for Newbies
- Dress in layers. The mall is basically its own weather system.
- Bring a water bottle. The fountains are hit or miss, and the vending machines are way too proud of themselves.
- Strut like the mall is your runway.
- Costumes are optional but deeply appreciated.
See you at the Food Court!
Subscribe to the Food Court 5000 Email List
Do you like strutting with purpose and sweating in places you didn’t expect? Then welcome to the premier (and possibly only) mall-walking group with style.
Sign up and never miss a chance to be part of the most chaotic, cardio-friendly takeover of the Lloyd Center Mall.
No spam, just mall mayhem and the occasional reminder that you’re part of something weird and wonderful. Click below to subscribe to our email list and prepare to strut the Lloyd Center like it’s 1989.
